Monday, July 28, 2008

"You've got to be kidding..."

"...you're telling me that there's no bbt place in the entire city?!?"

Day one of my short break from a certain non-profit organization was rather uneventful. We did drive around the city a bit, and I think we saw maybe...two restaurants with Chinese characters on their signs. Which is rather depressing. Makes me miss Vancouver already.

The motel that wee're staying at is pretty neat. Actually, that's a lie. the air conditioning unit is missing one of the dials, so you have to unscrew the top dial in order to work the bottom dial. The TV has maybe twenty channels, and the washroom is smaller than my closet. I'm writing this on the complimentary computer in the lobby, generously equipped with Windows 2000 and "high speed internet". On a side note, I am prone to exaggerration.

Other than that, there's not much to report. One nice thing about Victoria though: Snapple Iced Tea is ridiculously cheap here.

p.s. I miss my Strawberry smoothies =[

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

"So...uhhh...how do I turn it on?"

Let me tell you, I was sorely tempted to make a p0n0s joke. But that would have been naughty. Oh so very naughty. So I resisted. Aren't you proud?



Me: "Okay, one more thing, guys. Before you light the stove, you have to say "attention, I'm lighting the stove." So that people around you would know. Lets try it out, everyone.

Bronze: (muttering) "Attention I'm lighting the stove."

Me: "No! Louder! Let's try this again. ATTENTION I'M LIGHTING THE STOVE!"

On a side note, sunglasses are awesome. Because with them on, people DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE LOOKING. That's right, boy. Think I'm not looking at you listening to your iPod? THINK AGAIN!

That's right. Big Brother is watching. Bitch.

Monday, July 21, 2008

re: what xsf wants



AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH.

I literally lol'd.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

"Lying is the most fun a girl can have...

...without taking her clothes off, but it's better if you do."

What movie is that from? I thought of it because a random P!atD (or rather PatD now) song came on the radio today. But anyhow...

Three words, XSG: ONE WAY FUCKING STREETS!!!!11

Okay, so that's four words. I still haven't forgiven you though (good teamwork with the Halo, we totally need to do that again; giant motherfucking hammer, ftw!).

In other news, I have (had?) reached legal drinking age in Canada. Don't worry though, my liver will be well protected. I'll be sure to take some Pepto Bismol after my daily sessions of binge drinking.

p.s. Thanks for the lamp, guys (my dad thought it was hilarious). It shall find a home on my work desk.

p.p.s. I can be your hero babyyy..

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

It's a trap!

[02:41:24] <@Dingir-Dante> So...
[02:41:35] <@Dingir-Dante> YOU ARE THE CANCER, ARKUDIOUS.
[02:41:46] <@Arkudious> whatever
[02:42:22] <@Arkudious> just know that I appreciate jun for her personality a lot more than her dick
[02:42:23] <@Dingir-Dante> Yeah
[02:42:24] <@Arkudious> his*
[02:42:39] <@Dingir-Dante> Dude
[02:42:45] <@Arkudious> I'm sorry
[02:42:51] <@Dingir-Dante> Yes, please.
[02:42:54] <@Arkudious> my finger keep typing out her and she
[02:42:59] <@Arkudious> fingers*
[02:43:10] <@Dingir-Dante> He's not a girl.
[02:43:11] <@Dingir-Dante> Mate
[02:43:14] <@Dingir-Dante> that's like saying
[02:43:21] <@Dingir-Dante> You're in love with a gay guy.
[02:43:28] <@Arkudious> see
[02:43:29] <@Dingir-Dante> Even if he looks like a girl
[02:43:30] <@Dingir-Dante> and
[02:43:31] <@Arkudious> see here
[02:43:33] <@Dingir-Dante> behaves like one
[02:43:35] <@Arkudious> my mind knows
[02:43:40] <@Arkudious> but my fingers dont
[02:43:41] <@Dingir-Dante> HE'S NOT A WOMAN YOU MORON
[02:43:53] <@Dingir-Dante> *sigh*
[02:44:15] <@Arkudious> I just got kinda lazy
[02:44:26] <@Arkudious> and don't relete use the backspace key anymore
[02:44:31] <@Arkudious> really*
[02:44:54] <@be0wulf> [02:43:35] <@Arkudious> my mind knows
[02:44:54] <@be0wulf> [02:43:40] <@Arkudious> but my fingers dont
[02:45:01] <@Dingir-Dante> pfft
[02:45:03] <@be0wulf> that can totally be misconstrued
[02:45:04] <@Arkudious> fuck you beo

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Go die in a fire

Okay, first things first. I promise I'll post more regularly, now that school's pretty much finished (no, not because a certain someone makes me feel inadequate, har har). With that out of the way...

Why the fuck do people feel the urge to express emotion through their MSN screen name? Here, take a note at this:


Take a closer look at the eighth dude down (yea, it's a dude; emo girls are non-existent, you pervert). "Am I blind or am I a fool? - 1 cut for every day she's not here for me"

Seriously mate. Just...why?

1. The girl's hardly going to change in her feelings for you, just because you're threatening to harm yourself. Unless her name is Jesus.

2. Cutting is bad for you. Seriously. Just ask that guy from My Chemical Romance. Cutting caused him to release the gong show that was The Black Parade.

3. Okay, so maybe cutting is a way in which you express yourself. Sexually. After all, Mr. Trudeau did say something about the government having no business in the nation's bedrooms. But do you really need to tell the world about your sick, sick fantasies of bloody bathtubs and moist razors? I think not.

4. Assuming that the man in question actually means this as a joke, a reflection of the state of today's society, if you will. Then the fact that someone (like me) is making a blog post ridiculing him makes it distinctly unfunny. People are supposed to laugh with you, not at you, amirite?

But I digress.

So why do people often express their moods through their screen names? As we speak, someone is indubitably changing their handle to something along the lines of ...uhhh..."i miss u so much baby, pls come bak 2 me soon otherwise i'll take this knife and slice off my fucking ear".

Okay, so I made that up. But seriously, guys. Expressing your innermost hopes, desires, fears, over the internet? Discounting the fact that communicating via the internet is about as impersonal as one can get, and no one's likely to care anyways, why do people still do it?

Well, once upon a time, whenever I saw someone with anything like a sad face (did you see what I did there?) in their handle, I'd immediately message them and ask them what was wrong. But as it went on, I realized that most of their problems were quite...petty, in the grand scheme of things. (Asian) failed tests, break ups, and the like. Typical teenage drama.

So maybe I'm being a bit of an arrogant douche here, but grow the fuck up, people. The world, believe it or not, revolves around the sun, not you. Regardless of your mark on that Chemistry test, the sun will rise tomorrow, crude oil will still be ridiculously expensive, and George Bush will still be a retard. So suck it up, princess. You may talk about your troubles to someone with a sympathetic ear, but for the love of [insert deity here], don't broadcast your angst through the excessive use of "
Because everytime you do that, God infects a kitten with AIDS.

P.S. Some may think this post is a bit ironic, with the whole me being considered "emo" bit. If you know me well enough, you'll know that I'm not really the...cutter type, so I won't bother explaining about this bit here.

P.P.S. According to Reuters, 100% of males enjoyed, in varying degrees, this movie, whereas 100% of females did not enjoy it. So if you're a guy, watch it. If you're a girl...watch it anyways, then come back and complain to me how much the movie sucked, so I can prove to you that Jay Chou sucks cucumbers.

//edit: Well, I just read over my post again, and I realize that I do, in fact, sound like an arrogant douche. Or well. Yay me. If the game of life had Steam achievements, I've just completed the one for Douchebaggery.