Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sex and love's not real when it's from you (Part II)

This isn't really a real sequel to Part I, but it happened yesterday and it's got some rather amusing imagery. But first, some background info on the text (IRC logs, incoming).

A couple of guys and a girl were talking about dating. Specifically, how to ask a girl out.

Mochi: my brother is baking a cake for the girl he likes
aqua: that's sweet
quincy: i wrote a poem for the girl i liked :x
be0wulf: quincy, you pansy. girls don't take after poems any longer. you just call them up and be like.."hey i like you, wanna go for a movie sometime?"
quincy: well, she told me to write it, so i did
aqua: i think writing a poem is better than making a mixtape

So naturally the discussion turned to poems and their merits.

quincy: be0wulf, i guarantee if you wrote a sestina about a girl, she'll go on a date with you, if you're smooth about it
Mochi: wet meadows
quincy: wet meadows sound dirty
Masao: wet meadows sound kinky

And the conversation quickly loses its initial innocent intentions.

xenosagafreak: slick meadows
xenosagafreak: slippery meadows
quincy: moist meadows
be0wulf: tasty juicy meadows, dripping with...juices
be0wulf: wait, are we still talking about grass?
Masao: if there's grass on the field play ball
Masao: even if there isn't, play ball then too

I think its safe to say that meadows have now become a metaphor for...something. However:

quincy: grassy hills
be0wulf: HAHA QUINCY LIKES GRASSY HILLS
be0wulf: meadows = metaphor for _______
be0wulf: hills = metaphor for _______
aqua: be0wulf we get it we don't care hairy breasts or not

He attempts to save himself.

quincy: i'm talking about the mons veneris
quincy: know your female anatomy
be0wulf: okay whatever
be0wulf: you can go have your grassy hills

Lesson to be learned today: IRC is a dangerous place. We'll take what you think you know, twist it into something unrecognizable, and will still manage to turn that into something erotic. You have been warned.

p.s. this actually isn't the one i was planning on releasing this week, but it was just so funny i couldn't help myself. i've got two more entries lined up (one's part III of this series, one's a surprise) for this week and next, so look forward to it.

4 comments:

chuu said...

WERE IS MY ANTI-CHUU-SUICIDE ENTRY?!
That scissor is getting reeeaaaal friendlyyy~

_______________________
Below is serious comment:

@1st part:
Strange... Jyuu, Ark, and I did the same thing.. Expect it was more like "I'm scared to tell her aaaah!" from Jyuu's part. "Oh, stop being such a cry baby," from my part." And "OMG.... I put my lamp face down on the desk and then I fell asleep and now my desk is burning," from Ark's part.

@Poems:
I've got 3 guys write poems for me.
1. Ark. My reaction? Lolol... but aww that's sweet and .... super cheesy (well it's Ark. You can just imagine)
2. IH. ".... thanks, I guess. But don't ever EVER call me your angle... again. ever.)
3. Emo guy in Canada. "Oh god... could that poem be ANY more depressing?"

I was already with Ark, so that doesn't count, but the other two poems?... no way. Just no. It sure gave me a good laugh though.
"Writing poems" falls under the same category as "singing" for me :P:P:P

Vassily Chung said...

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I ate your chocolates.
And your little dog too.

<3

chuu said...

That's so sweet <3

That is the one poem that's exception to my super strict rule!

chuu said...

HAPPY TURKEY DAY BOEBEO <3